Oh, poor books. Forever losing the battle against Google.

This “Text From Dog” tumblr is brilliant. I’ve been laughing until my stomach hurts.

Spike Jonze’s Ikea Commercial.

HA!

ratsteeth:

#lemme give you a rundown of my life #i’ve spent 60 years in the wilds of the north being a god damn ranger #i’ve tracked down motherfuckin gollum and brought him to mirkwood #do you know what mirkwood is #do you know the kind of spiders that live there #yeah i thought not #i have battled orc armies in THREE CONSECUTIVE MOVIES #I HAVE RAN ACROSS THE FIELDS OF ROHAN #do you know how big that is #it’s like the english countryside but as big and as wide as motherfuckin canada #(i’m guessing) #i have battled the RINGWRAITHS. ya that’s right. all nine of them. WITH A TORCH. AND FOUR HOBBITS WIELDING TOOTHPICKS. #with the one ring as bait #i have been dragged down a cliff by a fuckin warg #i have summoned the armies of the dead to defeat the corsairs of umbar #i have lived a hard motherfuckin life and if you think bad dental hygiene will scare me then bitch the only scary thing about that is the amount of STDs i can catch if i stick my tongue in your mouth #go home. you’ve been dismissed.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’M A LITTLE GIRL AGAIN.

THIS IS THE BEST PICNIC EVER.

This tumblr is PERFECTION.

Some of these are damn brilliant. Click the link, you won’t be sorry.

I want to press this button!

Jimmy Fallon as Bob Dylan singing the “Charles in Charge” theme song.  Love it.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!

Steve (reading Karl’s diary): “Went round to Ricky’s and had some chicken curry that Ricky’s girlfriend Jane had made. Ricky and Jane were going on holiday for a few days and had arranged for Glyn to come in and make sure the cat was okay while they were away. I’m sick of that cat. I was surprised that they hadn’t paid for the little shit to go away with them in first class.”
Steve: Blimey, getting a bit vitriolic in the diary.
Ricky: Why doesn’t he like the fact that I’ve got a cat and I love the cat? Why—
Karl: It’s just everything in that house that you’ve got gets sort of “special treatment”… and it’s a cat and it annoys me.
Ricky: What do you mean, “Gets special treatment”?
Karl: Sometimes…
Ricky: We put food down for it, and sometimes it gets on our lap and we stroke it.
Karl: You don’t just stroke it. You massage its back. You’re going, “Are you stressed out? Are you stressed out?”
Ricky: Well, it’s good… No, I’m not saying, “Are you stressed out?” At no point did I say, “Are you stressed out?” You said, “What the fuck are you doing it for? Is it stressed out or sommat?” I… I like touching my cat.

If I had a dress like this, I too would shake it, shake it, shake it!

Seriously, this move has endeared me to Anne Hathaway forever.

rexdart6:

Cinderella story.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

“Oh please! Hulk only smashing ironically!”  This made me laugh.